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I thought I had blogged this story, but only found bits and pieces. So here’s the whole story as my daughter remembers it.

“I’d like to think that I was a unique individual from birth. I learned, at a very young age, that my family was different, but my parents instilled a sense of pride in me. Everything I was, no matter how it compared to others, was something I could wear proudly. My mother is deaf, and this never struck me as strange.

“However, in second grade when children still loved to see their parents anywhere they went, mothers and fathers would come into class to read aloud. My mother doesn’t know American Sign Language (ASL), nor does she need it. She reads lips with crisp perfection; even I couldn’t help but to imitate it in my early years. She also speaks clearly, of course with a slight accent, but as time goes on, it lessens. I never heard any strange accent, only the sound of my mother’s voice.

“This isn’t what my peers heard. They mocked her openly in front of me and asked why she sounded so weird. What a blow this was, the first time that anything about me was ‘strange’ and unaccepted. I wasn’t ashamed, though. To this day my mother remains an incredibly accomplished woman and writer. I get my language abilities straight from her. (Unfortunately, I acquired my father’s penmanship.)”

What’s strange is that I think I brought a book with a deaf character. But what was different between talking to my daughter’s class and my son’s class is that in my son’s class — I opened with an explanation of the deafness rather than letting the book do the talking.

I accept that children and even some adults will look at me in a strange way when my mouth opens and the words spill. But I do not accept my children’s classmates making fun of me in front of my kids. That puts the burden on my kids for something that has nothing to do with them.

After a great experience talking to two first grade classes this year, I hope to speak to more. It was college/career week. So I volunteered to talk to the kids about going to college, how college helped me on my career path, adjusting to college, and making a career. I explained some of the barriers and how technology has erased many of them.

I believe education is the path to understanding and acceptance.

17 Misconceptions about People with Hearing Loss shares great information answering many common questions I get from people. Some are afraid to ask the questions in fear of insulting someone. But I welcome them.

Here I share my responses to the 17 misconceptions from my experience…

1. Everyone with hearing losses uses sign language and reads lips. I know a drop of sign language, which I’ve picked up here and there like I’ve picked up words in other languages. My dad and grandmother lost their hearing as they got older. Neither knew sign language nor how to read lips.
2. Talking louder will help a person with hearing loss to understand. No, it puts us in an awkward situation. It *is* possible to talk too loud to me, but I can’t be sure if it’s someone’s normal volume or trying to do me a favor. Either way, I don’t want to risk hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s all about annunciation.
3. Hearing aids and cochlear implants restore hearing to normal. I wish! I’ve used both and I still cannot hear a conversation on the phone, from behind me or on TV.
4. People with hearing loss are stupid, mute and unsuccessful. I run a successful full-time freelance business. Before doing this, I had a great career in both the government and in telecommunications. A recent article discusses two employees at a large local company, one is an engineer. Unfortunately, if we dare ask “What did you say?” or don’t look like we understand, we’re perceived as stupid.
5. People with hearing loss tend to be older adults. I was born deaf. ’nuff said. I’ve met many deaf kids my age over the years.
6. People with hearing loss are defined by their hearing loss. Hardly. I’m a wife and mother first. Then a writer and volunteer. Being deaf does motivate me to work harder. I’m as much as a lefty as I am a deafie.
7. Having hearing loss is shameful. Some folks who lose their hearing as they get older do struggle with the loss just like we all struggle with different things that come with aging. But as a person who was born deaf and never experiencing hearing like the average person, it’s not shameful. However, it’s true that some folks are in [denial about their hearing loss](http://www.palmbeachpost.com/health/what-s-the-no-1-reason-boomers-don-162193.html).
8. When people with hearing loss miss something, it’s OK to tell them, “It’s not important,” or “I’ll tell you later.” Yeah, my brother did this to me all the time as closed-captions weren’t around until I was a teen. But I know he did it because it’s easier. It’s no different than when kids ask their parents what they were talking about to each other. They just don’t need to know everything.
9. People with hearing loss are rude and pushy. From my view, I don’t like lose track of the conversation or force myself not to care what people are talking about. So in my anxiousness to stay on track, I might come across as pushy when I don’t mean it.
10. People with hearing loss mostly hang out with other people with hearing loss. I’ve had very few deaf friends over the years. The only ones I know are from social networking. However, it’s true that some folks do all they can to be active in the community with other deaf people. It’s no different than Jewish people interacting with each other, Blacks and so on. You’ll find this in every race, culture and creed.
11. Everyone who needs an assistive listening system can use ear buds or headphones. I can’t use ear buds at all. They’re not loud enough and they don’t reach my hearing aid. I use headphones and switch my cochlear implant to T-Coil to shut out regular sounds and only hear what comes through the headphones. The T-Coil has been around since I was a kid. Great invention.
12. The wheelchair symbol represents universal access. It represents people who need to know if there’s access for someone with mobility challenges.
13. Hearing access isn’t needed because it’s so rarely requested. “Many people with hearing loss are so accustomed to there being no accessibility accommodations that they don’t inquire about it unless it is publicized.” Very true. I’ve gotten to the pint that if someone tells me about a video, I don’t bother to check it out unless they say it’s captioned or has no words.
14. People with hearing loss read braille. My husband ran into this when he was moving to Washington, DC, and I hadn’t yet joined him. Riding in an elevator, a coworker, who knew I was deaf, asked if I could read braille. Sure, I can rub my ear all over it and know what it says. Not really.
15. Providing access for people with hearing loss is very expensive. I can caption my own videos for zero cost. (OK, we won’t go into the fact you need a computer and Internet connection.) We can also access relay services online.
16. Deaf, hearing impaired, handicapped or disabled one is as good as the other. Even I get lazy and say “deaf person” referring to me. But it’s true that the correct way is “people who are deaf or hard of hearing.” Using “deaf person” or “blind person” implies there’s nothing else to the person. Some deaf people (see?) prefer to be known as “deaf person.” I also get lazy and say “hearing impaired” instead of “hard of hearing.” I’ve used all three terms. The only thing I don’t like is “handicapped.”
17. Companies or accessibility experts with no background with hearing loss can know what best meets the needs of people with hearing loss. Not all companies have the ability to hire someone to be an expert. That’s why you do research, ask questions and contact experts.

Image credit: Chris Baker