On Mother Father Deaf, a CODA (child of deaf adults) discusses that CODAs “are not normal or the same as the rest of the hearing world.” I think it depends on the deaf adult and communication preferences. But even if a deaf parent speaks and lipreads, CODAs do experience life a little differently.
I have three kids, all hearing. Don’t want to ever be a burden or an embarrassment to them. I talk about this in a past entry describing my experience in talking to my son’s second grade class. It took a long time before I could muster courage to talk to his class as I didn’t want my deaf accent to reflect how my son’s classmates treat him (stupid, but reality).
I avoid using them to help me in conversations where I’m not catching what someone says. In talking to the second grade class, I relied on the teacher to let me know what a child asks NOT my son. If my son wants to call a friend and Paul (hubby) isn’t around, then either I have him call the friend himself or have big sister help him. Sometimes eight-year-olds don’t accurately recall a phone conversation.
Unless it’s grandma or a close family friend, I don’t answer the phone or let the kids answer it when it’s a service company or doctor’s office. They’re not my administrative assistants and I don’t want their help in anything hearing- or communications-related (in other words, cleaning up is something I expect them to do, but not translate phone calls). If it’s important, the person can leave a message or call Paul’s cell. While some of my kids’ friends’ parents use e-mails, it isn’t always possible to use it when time is a factor. They’re not all e-mail checking freaks like me. Those who are — I do e-mail them.
I imagine for ASL households, it’s a different story in terms that the children might learn ASL first and become bilingual (always a big plus!) at a young age. Actually, I doubt any CODA household is identical with the various factors that can affect CODAs’ lives.
3 comments
Meryl,
Absolutely, I agree. I can’t begin to know every household. We are all different and have many differences. Some Codas come from non-signing homes, therefore knowing minimal sign language. Even, my children are being raised differently as well. Thank you for pointing this out.
Neglected to mention that my oldest (13) has expressed interest in taking ASL in high school, if they offer it. I’m all for it.
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